Have Audacity
Building Confidence Alongside Competence
Hey loves,
Long time, no letters. Your girl has been going through it—juggling a 9-5, launching a procurement and facilitation business, NYSC, freelance writing, project management, marketing campaigns, and then some. But this weekend, I joined a space hosted by Baddies in Development on X (@baddiesindev) with Max Obae (@makispoke), and I’m writing to you from the inspiration she poured into us.
As women, we spend countless hours developing our skills and becoming exceptional at what we do. But here’s what we often forget: building competence without confidence is like having a treasure chest with no key. You’ve done the work, you know your stuff, but if you can’t boldly present it to the world, you’re leaving opportunities on the table.
In a variation of Max’s words: HAVE AUDACITY. Do the work to know your onions, absolutely—but don’t you dare hesitate to tell anyone of value that you’ve got onions, honey.
The Confidence Gap Is Real (And It’s Costing Us)
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: many of us have mastered our crafts but still shrink when it’s time to speak up in meetings, pitch our ideas, or negotiate our worth. We wait to be “ready enough,” qualified enough, perfect enough. Meanwhile, others—often with half our expertise—are boldly taking up space and seizing opportunities. This isn’t about arrogance; it’s about recognizing that your voice, your perspective, and your contributions have value right now, not someday when you feel “ready.”
The good news? Confidence isn’t something you’re born with—it’s a skill you can build, just like any other. It grows through intentional practice, through putting yourself in uncomfortable situations, and through recognizing that every expert you admire once stood exactly where you’re standing now. The difference is they decided to show up anyway, imperfectly and boldly. Your competence has prepared you for the rooms you want to be in; now it’s time to build the confidence to walk through those doors and own your seat at the table.
Your Confidence-Building Action Plan
1. Master Your Pitch (And Practice It Everywhere)
Write a 30-second, 1-minute, and 3-minute version of who you are and what you do. Practice them until they feel natural—in the mirror, to friends, in voice notes to yourself. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s fluency. When you can articulate your value without stumbling, you show up differently in every interaction.
2. Become a Relentless Researcher
Confidence comes from being prepared. Before meetings, interviews, or networking events, go deep. Research the company, the people, and the industry trends. When you’re armed with knowledge, you can contribute meaningfully and back up your opinions with substance. This isn’t about showing off—it’s about showing up informed.
3. Ask Questions Like Your Success Depends On It (Because It Does)
The smartest people in any room are usually the ones asking the best questions. Stop worrying that questions make you look uninformed. They make you look engaged, curious, and strategic. “Can you explain more about...” “What’s your perspective on...” “Help me understand...” These phrases open doors and build relationships.
4. Document Your Wins
Keep a running list of your achievements, positive feedback, successful projects, and moments you’re proud of. Review it before big moments or when imposter syndrome creeps in. Evidence of your capability is a powerful antidote to self-doubt.
5. Network Up, Not Just Across
Stop only connecting with people at your level. Intentionally build relationships with people who are where you want to be. Comment on their content, attend their events, ask thoughtful questions, and offer genuine value. These connections challenge you to level up your thinking and open doors you didn’t know existed.
6. Speak Up in the First 10 Minutes
In meetings or spaces that intimidate you, make it a rule to contribute something—anything—in the first 10 minutes. A question, an observation, a point of agreement. The longer you stay silent, the harder it gets. Early participation breaks the seal and establishes your presence.
7. Invest in Your Communication Skills
Take a public speaking course, join a Toastmasters club, or practice presenting to small groups. Record yourself speaking and watch it back (yes, it’s painful, but it’s transformative). Great ideas delivered poorly won’t get the traction they deserve. Work on your delivery as much as you do on your content.
You’ve got the skills. Now it’s time to build the audacity to match.
Let’s show up boldly this week.
With love and a little audacity,
Princess O.
well written 👏🏽